see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Damn victory sex feels great
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
