I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
