my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
