Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
When are your genitals available?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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