NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
