I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
