I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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