trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
