I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
