...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I would fuck him just for his dog
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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