that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
