That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
