I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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