I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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