Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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