The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
