either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
