The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
