you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
