before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
