with your own penis?
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
