WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
