we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
