I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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