So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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