Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
In America we eat man semen.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
