he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
