exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
