I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
