U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Your cock deserves a montage
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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