Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
