This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
