Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
