I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
ttyl tear gas
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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