Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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