You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
its liver damage thursday
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
