The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
