You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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