and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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