I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
