Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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