She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
vagina is talking i cant
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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