im drinking this country out of the recession.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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