Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
