i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
