I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
