Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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