Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
