Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
