yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
